I think the biggest limit we put on ourselves as human beings are EXPECTATIONS. Think about it. How often do you set high expectations then quickly come to the realization that disappointment is a step away? It’s like assuming you will be happy when you don’t even know what happiness is. I think we have all fallen victim of letting expectations from others control us, but the real problem with doing so is that we lose a little bit of life in the process. Having expectations is like planting a tree and assuming it will grow overnight. Unrealistic. We can wait our entire lives for that tree to grow, but we lose half of our lives just waiting. Waiting on the day when what we thought was going to happen actually does. 

 

Instead of waiting for the sun to come up or for a tree to grow, how about you make your own goals over expectations instead? Wait what! Make our own GOALS?! YES. Rather than wait for someone or something to become what you wanted it to be or occur how you wanted it to be, make it yourself. The expectation that love will be perfect because I’ll meet the right guy? FALSE. How about you be the perfect girl instead or vise versa. Waiting on someone else to fulfill your life will never bring you happiness, you have to make it yourself. Obviously we meet people who do not fit our criteria and that’s normal, but predisposing someone simply because you had different expectations results in a life of sadness. It really does. I used to have expectations that involved finding this guy who would treat me perfectly, but I realized I have flaws myself. Our world revolves around expectations, such as becoming successful, marrying an amazing person, being fit, staying healthy, being perfect without any problems, etc. However, the reality of it all is that expectations function as a default and defect nonetheless in all of our lives because it deviates from finding happiness in everything. If you go into life with expectations, you will most likely be disappointed. However, if you approach situations wholeheartedly and ask YOURSELF how can I make the most of this situation, either bad or good, then you will start living your life to its fullest potential. 

 

I had not contemplated the downsides of expectations until today actually because I realized I set so many for myself and towards others whom I encountered, which resulted in me feeling bad about myself. I was thinking discouraging thoughts and asking myself “well why didn’t this person say or do what I expected of them?” Or “why did I not say that, I had the whole night planned out to be perfect.” It is thoughts like these that leave us feeling empty because YOU are enough. All expectations do for you is create a false reality that has you believing in events or situations that are not true. 

 

We all want to feel loved, to be accepted, to work hard, but once expectations set in, those wants are impacted greatly and we become saddened because nothing in our lives actually is matching up with our expectations. We all have desires, yes, but when do those desires override life’s plan? When can we take a step back and say “okay God you know what you’re talking about and I’ll stop holding these high expectations of both myself and others.” That is the key. You have to be PROUD of yourself. Allow yourself to be proud. Stop letting those thoughts inside your head tell you that you are not good enough and that you haven’t met the expectations you set for yourself. More importantly, don’t set expectations on others that cause you to judge them in ways that are unnecessary. 

 

A great example I have is going on a first date. You immediately think “oh this will be so fun and they seem amazing so I expect to have a great time.” Already you have set the expectation that this person will provide immediate satisfaction and entertainment for you that would result in a fun time. However, we aren’t thinking about how we are treating them. How can we make sure they have a fun time? Rather than expecting things from others, give to them what you previously wanted. Change the narrative from “oh he/she should have done/said this” to “what could I do better for them?” Set the expectation on yourself to be the best and ensure that you will make the night fun rather than waiting on someone else to do that for you.

 

Moreover, expectations rule the world. They do. We expect happiness, love, appreciation and the like, but we aren’t willing to work for it ourselves. How about YOU start giving off those qualities unto others rather than expecting others to shower you with them? Let’s start giving to others more than we take because in reality, you truly reap what you sow. The happiest people in the world give to others and love others more than those who take. It’s incredible the power of love and the power of being okay with not always seeing immediate results. Life is a process. Expectations are a setback. And love is lifelong. If we start realizing that we all have our flaws, then not meeting our expectations will become more acceptable and a growing experience. 

 

The takeaway: don’t let anyone define who you are or what you are capable or incapable of. Only you can do that. You possess the ability to control your happiness, your success, your overall health as a person, no one else. So instead of basing your life off of expectations that someone else instilled in your life, make your own judgments about who you are. You are amazing. You can be powerful without a significant other. And you can change the world. It all starts with forgetting about expectations and allowing yourself to also diverge from placing expectations on others. People are amazing, you are amazing, and allowing others to be who they truly are, regardless of stereotypes, is the first step in the right direction for finding true happiness and allowing yourself to grow and reach your full potential.

 

 

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